emotional_release_during_massage_-_what_s_happening_and_how_best_to_respond
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emotional_release_during_massage_-_what_s_happening_and_how_best_to_respond [2016/08/20 12:45] – [Other things you can do to moderate or exit safely the intensity of an emotional release] emily | emotional_release_during_massage_-_what_s_happening_and_how_best_to_respond [2016/09/01 14:59] – [How to best respond to an emotional release in massage ?] emily | ||
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- | ====== Emotional Release during Massage - What is Happening and How best to respond ====== | + | ====== Emotional Release during Massage |
Massage (or other types of bodywork) can sometimes facilitate the (often healthy) release of suppressed emotions, manifesting for example, in cries, or other emotional outbursts. This can be impressive and frightening for both, but most of the times there is nothing really to be afraid of. With a little confidence and preparation, | Massage (or other types of bodywork) can sometimes facilitate the (often healthy) release of suppressed emotions, manifesting for example, in cries, or other emotional outbursts. This can be impressive and frightening for both, but most of the times there is nothing really to be afraid of. With a little confidence and preparation, | ||
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- | An emotional release in massage can be closely linked to the modification in the pattern of breathing which happens when the person enters a state of relaxation. Deeper “abdominal” breathing may start, as opposed to more “upper”, | + | An emotional release in massage can be closely linked to the modification in the pattern of breathing which happens when the person enters a state of relaxation. Deeper “abdominal” breathing may start, as opposed to more “upper”, |
+ | As the diaphragm relaxes, as it dives deeper into the abdomen pulling in air, it also softens its role as a functional barrier, or dam, against the rise of intense emotions. Indeed, intense emotional outbursts could represent unwelcome disruptions in daily life activities or social interactions. This is why, consciously or not, we regulate (through breathing notably) the flow of our emotions or keep them in check altogether (yes, sometimes we catastrophically fail, but that is yet another story). Note that this is a general, regulatory, adaptive function of breathing, where the diaphragm, the bigger, stronger respiratory muscle, plays a lead role. It is neither good or bad //per se// : rather it is the adjustment (or not) of a person to their situation/ | ||
- | So, in massage, the person might have an opportunity to relax. They might enter what is described as the “Rest and Digest” state/ | + | So, in massage, the person might have an opportunity to relax. They might enter what is described as the **“Rest and Digest”** state/ |
===== How to best respond to an emotional release in massage ? ===== | ===== How to best respond to an emotional release in massage ? ===== | ||
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The best attitude to adopt according to me is to: | The best attitude to adopt according to me is to: | ||
- | * Stay calm and positive. By all means, find it in you not to be frightened by the other person' | + | * Stay **calm, composed, |
- | * Stop further stimulation, | + | * Stop further stimulation, |
- | * Describe | + | * Gently **describe |
Then | Then | ||
- | * Ask them if they want you to stay with them as they go through this or “do you want me to leave you alone a bit and come back in 15 min to check in on you ?” If they wish for you to stay, you can say things like “OK, let's see this pass together. I am here. Here, turn on you side, I will help you get more comfortable...” If they don't know what they want, stay, then later, maybe, ask again the same question. | + | * Ask them **if they want you to stay with them** as they go through this or “do you want me to leave you alone a bit and come back in 15 min to check in on you ?” And/Or **Ask them if there is someone around, a friend, that they'd wish to see now**, and that you could get for them. If they wish for you to stay, you can say things like “OK, let's see this pass together. I am here. Here, turn on you side, I will help you get more comfortable...” If they don't know what they want, stay, then later, maybe, ask again the same question. |
- | * Invite the person to turn and lie on their left side, in the lateral recovery position, with one leg folded the other extended (better than fetal position, which can be too regressive, and harder to emerge from later). Cover them with a jumper or plaid or blanket. | + | * Invite the person to **turn and lie on their left side, in the lateral recovery position**, with one leg folded the other extended (better than fetal position, which can be too regressive, and harder to emerge from later). Cover them with a jumper or plaid or blanket. |
- | * If you are staying with them, keep a warm, “motherly” contact with them, preferably on their back. You can, for example, sit (and make yourself comfortable because it can last a bit) against their back, and stay there. Don't massage. Or, small, slow, circles, AT MOST. | + | * If you are staying with them, and if they are OK with touch (ask), **keep a warm, “motherly” contact with them**, preferably on their back. You can, for example, sit (and make yourself comfortable because it can last a bit) against their back, and stay there. Don't massage. Or, small, slow, circles, AT MOST. |
- | * Don't talk the person out of releasing their emotions, but don't encourage them into more release either. You want to dose it bit, to keep the emotional release within safe boundaries/ | + | * Don't talk the person out of releasing their emotions, but **don't encourage them into more release** either. You want to dose it bit, to keep the emotional release within safe boundaries/ |
- | * Do not encourage the person to verbalize (at least not during the emotional release). Do NOT make the person talk, other that, as in my examples, to have them say their name or yours, or very trivial things. This is especially crucial if the person you're caring for is someone working in sensitive contexts where there are important security issues, if they are, for example, an exposed or high profile activist (which, in many cases, | + | * Do **not express approval or disapproval**, |
- | * If you are genuinely worried though, if you feel that something here is really wrong, that this person should address certain serious issues, wait for after the massage to have a conversation about it. And, either propose a conversation with you (if, and only if, you feel you have the availability, | + | * Do **not encourage the person to verbalize** (at least not during the emotional release). Do NOT make the person talk, other that, as in my examples, to have them say their name or yours, or very trivial, general |
+ | * If you are genuinely worried though, if you feel that something here is really wrong, that this person should address certain serious issues, | ||
==== Other things you can do to moderate or exit safely the intensity of an emotional release ==== | ==== Other things you can do to moderate or exit safely the intensity of an emotional release ==== | ||
- | * If you've been playing some nostalgic or loopy music, you might want to stop it or turn it down. Likewise, you might softly, progressively bring some lights back on. | + | * If you've been playing some nostalgic or loopy music, you might want to stop it or turn it down. Likewise, you might softly, progressively |
- | * If the person is really distressed and degrading, not hearing you or your invitation to turn on their side, eyes closed, rapid breathing and so on, by all gentle means, make them connect with you and with their surroundings. Have them open their eyes, have them look you in the eyes, keep looking, have them look around, have them say their name, your name, listen to your voice, hang on to the continuous stream of kind words coming from your mouth etc. Here you might want to raise your voice a little and be assertive, although still soft and motherly. | + | * If the person is really distressed and degrading, not hearing you or your invitation to turn on their side, eyes closed, rapid breathing and so on, by all gentle means, |
- | * Bring them a glass of water and help them drink it. | + | * Bring them **a glass of water** and help them drink it. |
- | * If you're lucky enough to have a garden or some patch of green near, gently but assertively get them back up on their two feet, have them walk around, and take them to that patch of raw earth. There. Grounded. Literally. If there is no green or grass, get them up and walking all the same indoors. Ground, ground, ground. | + | * If you're lucky enough to have a garden or some patch of green near, gently but assertively |
- | * If they are not calming down and this is going on too long and you are already feeling they are exhausting themselves through the emotional release, there' | + | * If they are not calming down and this is going on too long and you are already feeling they are exhausting themselves through the emotional release, there' |
+ | |||
+ | Emily King, August 2016 (reviewed by M.) | ||
+ | |||
+ | {{: | ||
- | Emily King, August 2016 |
emotional_release_during_massage_-_what_s_happening_and_how_best_to_respond.txt · Last modified: 2016/09/01 15:36 by emily