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--- emotional_release_during_massage_-_what_s_happening_and_how_best_to_respond [2016/09/01 14:56] – emily
+++ emotional_release_during_massage_-_what_s_happening_and_how_best_to_respond [2016/09/01 14:59] – [How to best respond to an emotional release in massage ?] emily
@@ Line 28: / Line 28: @@
   * Don't talk the person out of releasing their emotions, but **don't encourage them into more release** either. You want to dose it bit, to keep the emotional release within safe boundaries/limits. Indeed, while a bit of emotional release is good most of the times, too much of it, too strong and/or too long can become unsafe (depending on who you and they are, where you are and what is around you), become very psychologically and physically draining for the person (for you even) and be hard(er) to recover from (see the end of this article for more specific advices on how to moderate the intensity).
   * Do **not express approval or disapproval**, and in any case **do not contradict, negate, or minimize what they are feeling. Just listen..!** Yet for their own sake, be mindful/careful that **they don't reveal too much personal information** (see next point)
-  * Do **not encourage the person to verbalize** (at least not during the emotional release). Do NOT make the person talk, other that, as in my examples, to have them say their name or yours, or very trivial, general things and feelings. This is especially crucial if the person you're caring for is someone working in sensitive contexts where there are important security issues, if they are, for example, an exposed or high profile activist (which you might not even be aware of). You are to keep them safe, and that includes to keep them safe from having said, released, too much information, to you, to a stranger. This could leave them feeling anxious and terrible, who knows, it could keep them from sleeping at night, AFTER your session, ruining all the care and little trust that you had. Besides, it might also mean trouble and inquietude for you, having now in your possession information you would have been better NOT to have in the first place. Furthermore, and importantly, bear in mind the moment of intense emotion and relaxation is a moment of greater vulnerability and possible confusion. It is NOT the best moment to address, solve, or go into the particulars of important personal issues, for the reasons I have stated, and because there is too much de facto asymmetry in power between you (the composed caregiver in charge), and them (the weak poor soul breaking down on your table), that could all later feel like a breach of trust and privacy, an abuse even. Limit the talking. If necessary explain why you are not wanting to hear them talk too much, why you feel this is in the person's best interest (and not because you couldn't care less or something, which is untrue).
+  * Do **not encourage the person to verbalize** (at least not during the emotional release). Do NOT make the person talk, other that, as in my examples, to have them say their name or yours, or very trivial, general things and feelings. This is especially crucial if the person you're caring for is someone working in sensitive contexts where there are important security issues, if they are, for example, an exposed or high profile activist (which you might not even be aware of). You are to keep them safe, and that includes to **keep them safe from having said, released, too much information**. This could leave them feeling anxious and terrible, who knows, it could keep them from sleeping at night, AFTER your session, ruining all the care and little trust that you had. Besides, it might also mean trouble and inquietude for you, having now in your possession information you would have been better NOT to have in the first place. Furthermore, and importantly, bear in mind the moment of intense emotion and relaxation is a moment of greater vulnerability and possible confusion. It is NOT the best moment to address, solve, or go into the particulars of important personal issues, for the reasons I have stated, and because there is too much de facto asymmetry in power between you (the composed caregiver in charge), and them (the weak poor soul breaking down on your table), that could all later feel like a breach of trust and privacy. Limit the talking. If necessary explain why you are not wanting to hear them talk too much, why you feel this is in the person's best interest (and not because you couldn't care less or something, which is untrue).
   * If you are genuinely worried though, if you feel that something here is really wrong, that this person should address certain serious issues, **wait for after the massage to have a conversation** about it. And, either propose a conversation with you (if, and only if, you feel you have the availability, heart and shoulders for it) OR express your concern and **invite them to seek appropriate help** with friends, OR refer them to other caregivers or resources. If you are very worried, for example, if there has been mention of suicide thoughts or attempt, let one of their good friend know you are genuinely worried (without spilling details of your session), and insist that they follow up with their friend and have a conversation, and share whatever resources you have that you think could help them. Bear in mind though, that by going to their friend about this, you would be breaching privacy, so what you can do is tell the person you have given a massage to that you are going to share your concerns with their friend.